A Little MS with a Little MSW

I used to speed every time I got behind the wheel of a car. An observer would think me one of those perpetually late people or perhaps someone in the midst of a health crisis. While tardiness and medical crises have indeed accounted for a very minute portion of my Lead Foot Syndrome, the sad truth is, the overwhelming majority of the time, I had nowhere to be.

In hindsight, as many things do, this seems silly to me. Perhaps, slowing down comes more naturally with age (though I’ve seen my share of senior citizens tearing up the road for…bingo?). Or perhaps the realization that the years are flying by faster than the speed my odometer used to read, causes me to want to lean into the brake.

While I admit there is beauty in a sunny, windows down, music up, pedal to the metal, kind of day, I am also grateful to have discovered the beauty of leisure behind the wheel. What’s the rush? Why are you out there acting a fool in excess of the speed limit, surrounded by other people acting a fool at 70+ miles per hour?

Sadly, if I could go back, I don’t know that I would change the sense of exhilaration I felt speeding through young adulthood. As a speeder in recovery, I get it. But there is a sadness that comes with recognizing the beauty of life and feeling as though you spent decades speeding through it. It’s an understanding many don’t experience until at least half of their life is over.

Mid-life doesn’t have to be about infidelity or fast cars. It can be about appreciation. Gratitude. Stillness. I’m not saying to pass up the shiny new sports car if you have the means and opportunity – I’m just saying that there are two pedals on the floorboard, and perhaps you will find beauty by leaning into the one on the left every once in a while.