A Little MS with a Little MSW

I ran my first 5K since my diagnosis this past weekend. I ran the entire thing, but I was slooooow. I was disappointed in my time. I knew I was a slower runner, but it turns out I am a reeeeaaally slow runner. I mean, if the majority of the population could speed walk beside you for the entire race, are you really a runner? I don’t really feel like I ran it, even though my cardiovascular system would beg to differ.

Alright, y’all…here’s a therapist dissecting her own thoughts. What would I tell a client if they were saying this out loud to me? I would say, “Of course you are still a runner!” 3.1 miles is 3.1 miles, no matter how long it takes to complete! You also ran the entire thing without stopping to walk which is impressive. You should be really proud of yourself!

Non-professional me says blah, blah, blah. It’s ok to feel disappointed at times. I don’t want anyone to put a positive spin on it; I want to wallow in the fact that my endurance and pace suck. Here’s counselor me again: “It’s natural to feel disappointed at times and I am glad you are in touch with your feelings, as long as you don’t live there.”

I actually just opened the official results this morning and I placed right in the middle for my age group, so I am feeling slightly better. My pace seems to be about average, which sums up my life pretty well. (I’m pouting again, lol). Seriously, though, I have been fighting average my whole life and am pleasantly surprised when I find myself among the ranks of the Above Averagers or the Excelers.

I have yet to give up, though! I don’t know if that makes me stupid, or excellent at perseverance. Non-professional me thinks the former, but therapist me says DEFINITELY the latter. <wink>